The action changes the thinking

I just went out to walk Darcy and saw the huge crowds of people marching down Santa Monica Blvd. so I went towards them. I've been feeling like I need to contribute or participate in this movement, but have not known how to get around my father's nay-saying voice in my head. For example, a few days ago I thought maybe I'll drop off a case of water to these protesters a block away from Trader Joe's, but then heard my father's voice scoff in my head, don't be stupid. I immediately felt stupid and embarrassed and let that prevent me from getting the water. Maybe I just need to go down and walk with the protesters. After all, I know the action changes the thinking, not the other way around.


I walked Darcy up and down Santa Monica Blvd. a few blocks, joining the march. The energy was contagious and powerful. It's beautiful, actually. People coming together in the name of love is so opposite of the lessons I was taught growing up. I think if I more actively participated in a march or a protest it could help rewire my ingrained backwards thinking: my father's angry, conservative voice poo-poo-ing anything other than work. Hippy-dippy nonsense, he calls it. His teachings, his voice, his words are always my first thought b/c that's what I was taught from an early age. Learning to ignore that first thought is not easy. Learning to act against it is even harder. But I'd like to. I don't want to be governed by my negative father's teachings anymore. Morally I know he's wrong. I want to be able to participate in a movement towards love, peace, justice and equality without his voice booming in my head making me feel embarrassed of my choice to do so.


OK, step one: willingness...

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