The day after we put our dog to sleep I made the impulsive decision to quit smoking. 'He died of lung cancer. That's a sign from God that I should quit smoking or I might be next.' I threw away my cigarettes and started going to Nic A meetings. I shared that I was new and got phone numbers. And then addiction happened.
'I don't think I really want to quit smoking,' the addicted part of my brain said. 'I mean, I only smoke one a day, and I still like it...'
Justification. Reasoning.
'It's my only vice!'
Reward.
'Why do I have to quit on the first try? Most people don't.'
Defiance.
'I'm sick of doing everything right. I deserve something that I enjoy!'
Whining.
... But the thing is, even though I see addiction winning, I don't want to fight it. I still want to smoke.
And that, my friends, is addiction.
