Faith vs. fear

I got fired yesterday. I did NOT see it coming. A fellow server texted me that he'd been permanently let go and fear rose up inside of me. OMG, am I next? I immediately tried to combat that fear with faith and logic. No, you've been there the longest. Then I got the call. "There just aren't enough hours, reduced staff, lots of factors," etc., etc., etc. I felt insulted, and took it personally. It's b/c they don't like me. I felt overcome with anxiety and fear of financial insecurity. EDD is gonna run out, and then what? I tried to combat those feelings by exercising my faith. Thank you, God, for doing for me what I could not do for myself. Then fear kicked up again, ... yeah but the last time you looked for a job it ended up taking months to find one. Its gonna be even harder now b/c everyone is going to be looking for a job. "I don't know what to do with this anxiety," I said to Tim. "It's OK to feel anxious," he said. It's funny. That's not the first time someone has had to tell me that it's OK to feel the feelings I'm feeling. Just have the feeling. Then you're going through it. And then you'll get through it. Growth is uncomfortable. And that's OK.

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