Reading my old date books, basically reading the story of my life, has been quite eye-opening. This isn't the first time I've gone through these journals, but I'm seeing patterns that I didn't recognize before. I was depressed almost every day, and I fought with people all the time. As I relive these days I am baffled and regretful that I didn't make a change sooner. I didn't even realize that drugs and alcohol were causing the negativity. I subconsciously fought very hard to continue to use for years. "We won't regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it," says the Big Book. In order for that to be true, I have to share my experience in the hopes that it may help someone else, learn from my mistakes, and not make them again.